Exiled

 

 

 

Cast out

like so much refuse,

scattered around,

meant to be crushed

under foot.

 

Forced at last

to flee for her life,

exiled from all

that she loves

and holds dear.

 

With no hope

of return soon,

if at all,

she settles in

her cave of despair

 

The exile stares

into the hole

called oblivion

and sees no bottom

only the end.

 

Yin Yang

The meaning of life includes death.
Birth implies burial, 
up implies down.
Existence enfolds emptiness,
sadness the clown.

There is nothing without something
no goodness without evil.
The sun points to rain
Love requires indifference, 
Hatred the same.

Complexity requires simplicity
The Many are still One.
Divided needs unity,
One second, eternity, while
Tyranny points to the free.

Yin and Yang is cosmic truth
the concept is universal.
All that is and is not
All that was and will be,
What could be and what cannot.

Embrace the opposites
in ourselves and each other;
feminine and masculine.
It is a true paradox,
we are all both yet just one.

Ice

Icy grey attitude
solid, frozen anger;
arrow aimed and shot,
made of crystal cold.

Marbled intensity,
frostbitten fear flying;
missiles strike, war is fought.
emotions uncontrolled.

Diamond desperation
chills to the inward bone.
Hardened spear hits the spot;
icicles of ire scold.

Sandy friction loosens
the grip of iced longing;
trampling all tempting thoughts,
plotting ever to be told.

Leaven raises and is warming,
melts the coldest of hearts;
Love's arrows freely sought
penetrate, defeat cold.

©2012 Cherie Boeneman

Where the Wind Blows (Haiku)

Wind blows where it wills,

Whispering as it travels;

Freedom's pure form.

Uphill (Haiku)

Uphill to nowhere

That is how it feels most days

Dirty, muddy path.

The Politician

Please explain why...
You hate when I love you,
why you hurt me when I want you,
why you make me want to die?

Please explain why...
You don't seem to want my help;
I have the needed expertise.
Why do you have to make up lies?

Please explain why...
You have shut me out wholly
I have given you many years
The kind of help you cannot buy.

Please explain why...
You reject this volunteer?
Due to her disabilities?
rejection makes me want to die.

Please answer...


©2012 Cherie Boeneman

Fall Tree (Haiku)

Fall...my mood today.

Tired tree dropping leaves

Seeking a long rest.

Falling

Down....
Like an elevator in free fall,
but spiraling out of control
nothing to stop my plunge
emotional gravity pulls
until I find the inevitable
Bottom...

Panic

Surrounding noise,
suddenly so far away; 
light-headed, shaking.
Can't breathe,
I want to run,
unable to sit still.
It is actually painful
to remain in one place.
I want to scream.
I do cry and shake 
and cry some more.
I need to escape,
run from the pain,
somewhere, anywhere, 
but there is no escape.
It is always with me.
It is like a choker 
around my throat.
Finally, not being able
to escape or get better
I make the Leap 
of  Concrete Faith.

Icy Hell

Hell on earth arrives

With icy blue eyes stabbing,

Freezing all feeling.

Ghost Walking

Bones that walk,
skeletons that talk;
living who are not,
conscious without thought.

Paradox 
quite unorthodox;
death where life should be,
thought, no sympathy.

Ghostly pale,
yet it can exhale.
No one ever sees;
this spirit can breathe.

Frustration
but ideation.
needing and wanting,
love but not haunting.

It can't be,
ever to be seen,
ever to be held;
all emotions quelled.

. 

Time

Time

Tick Toc

Terrible, Threatening ,Toxin

Tyrant, Terrorizing

Termination

Instant
Immediate, Illusory
Incredible, invalidating, Incinerating
Insinuating, infiltrating
Infliction.

Maximum
Massive, Melting
Monstrous, Maddening, Misery
Murder, Massacre 
Multiplication.

Eternal
Everlasting, Eviscerating
 Evaporating, Exasperating, Enraging
Exhausting, Evacuating, 
Emotion.

Mania Anacrostic

Irritability
Terrible tremors
Severe, serious shaking.

Movement
Aggressive anger
Never needs naps
Increased impulsiveness including imbibing
Always anguished awareness and awake.


©2012 Cherie Boeneman

Heartbeat (Haiku)

Life has a heartbeat

A pulse unique to each

Beating to its time.

The Crush

Pointless preoccupation
Purposeless passion
Fanciful feelings
Fickle fondness.

Aimed astray
Always attendant
Not noticed
Never nice.

Painful perception
Piercing pangs
Forever forbidden
Feelings frozen.

©2012 Cherie Boeneman

Fragmentation

Part of my personality
seem to dissipate,
disappear into thin air
as I watch and wait.

I sense the pieces leaving me,
I feel far away
and voices seem quite distant;
my soul goes astray.

My disintegrating spirit
screams in great distress,
goes unheard by anyone
as it's dispossessed.

How can the several  fragments
be reconnected
What process will be employed,
used and directed?

That scares me more than the illness;
almost has to pain
as much as tearing apart
sections of the brain.

But if agony is required
to get the outcome
of entire cohesion
I'll gladly take some.


©2012 Cherie Boeneman

The Other Guy

If eyes are the window to the soul
his soul is on the way to Hell;
Creepy and distant,
blue but vacant.

He reminds me of those guys who shoot
innocent folks for the pleasure;
Paranoid and strange,
He looks deranged.

He's running for a seat in Congress
but we really cannot afford
to elect him now;
crazy, and how.

Season and Time (Haiku)

Leaves yellow and gold

Falling and spiraling down

Like season and time.


©2012 Cherie Boeneman

The Split

How is it that there is
this split of feelings;
one made of  heavenly love,
the other made in the abyss.

I do not understand
how I can be two
completely different souls,
it is difficult to withstand.

I don't want to hate you
but right there it is;
one minute the feeling's there
and I do not know what to do.

But then there is craving,
a flame burning bright;
a feeling that consumes me
with love and heat that is scathing.

They have a name for it,
say its Bi-Polar.
It's funny, I don't feel ill;
I feel two ways, I do admit.

But then there are the times
when I'm so depressed
I cannot get out of bed
or I can't leave the house' confines.

So I guess it is true:
I am divided.
Sometimes I am on a high,
but at other's I'm a deep blue.

©2012 C. Boeneman

All That's Left (Anacrostic #4)

Ice blue eyes

Hew my soul,
Aid  the foe;
Take what's left
Ends in theft.

Yet there was
Once some care
Ugly mood sighs.

©2012 Cherie Boeneman

Beware Politicians!

I have decided to follow God
not the elected officials
I want to stay away from evil
and from very blatant fraud.

I want to restore my sanity
it fled when I got too involved
Trying to get it back takes much work
fleeing inhumanity.

They can literally drive you mad.
They will use you and will abuse you
then toss you like yesterday's garbage.
It can hurt and make you sad..

I'll not volunteer for them again.
Politicians are for themselves
People need to know this when they vote
and not let them pull you in.

©2012 Cherie Boeneman

Politics (Haiku)

Politics slithers

quietly and evilly;

bites like a viper.

Travelling to the Light

It is time for the final baptism,
the one where I am made
white as snow, ready
for the heavenly gates.

The light is waiting for me at the end 
ready to welcome, surround
me with love of God,
singing the only sound.

I am ready to stay with family
who have gone on before me
but the Voice says, "No",
"It's not the time for Thee." 

"You still have a lot of work left to do,
so I need you there right now."
I accept God's task 
and am back somehow.

Choose Life

Suicide is easier, life is hard.
It's a difficult choice sometimes
when the pain bombards.

When the pain seems to overwhelm and crush,
it seems like there is no way out.
But why should you rush?

The option is always available
take it and there's no return.
Wait and get stable.

With some time you can start to think clearly
and see some options you didn't;
view your life dearly.

Those who love you want you to stick around
They'd be devastated and hurt.
You'd leave a deep wound.

Take the higher, harder road, choose life.
Make the commitment to yourself;
you can face the strife.


©2012 C. Boeneman

The Nature of Love

Sometimes love is a mistake;
all emotion and lust,
very little commitment.
and almost no trust.

Attraction can't do it all;
love is for the long haul,
lust is made for the moment;
means little at all..

Love's aim is important too.
who it is may be wrong
for us and really toxic:
do you get along?

The moral is straight forward:
aim at connection
if it is solid the rest 
comes with reflection.


©2012  C. Boeneman

Altered Reality

Disease melting sanity,
overreaching defenses,,
breaking down barriers
like a Hollywood horror.
Infecting a person's mind,
transforming personality,
distorting perceptions
and mind altering reality.
No one must know,
the alien must be hidden
inside and kept quiet;
It must not escape.
It cannot be contained
and finds it's way through
to the surface and shows
itself to an unsuspecting
world, which is unprepared
for the changed and afflicted
victim that was their friend.
It is mental illness.

Fall Changes (Haiku)

Summer green changes

First yellow green then yellow

While leaves change for Fall

All About Nothing

Surrounded by alone,
followed by frozen out,
damned with no praise,
screamed at by silence.

Alone in a crowd,
lost while at home,
damned among the saved,
believing among the doubts.

Paradox among dilemmas,
answers without questions,
punctuation without sentences,
all among nothing.


©2012  C. Boeneman

Our Future

What will the future be like?

Will we be hunger free?

Will we all live in peace

and have freedom from fear?

Or will there be more famine

with manufactured food

and war is seen as good
from sea to rising sea?

It depends on us right now,

what we say, what we do

to help force changes through.

We are the hope for earth.

Anacrostic 3

Demanding damnation
Excruciating existence
Anguished affliction
Terrifying torment
Horrifying Hell

Painful particularity
Loathsome living
Exasperating experiences
Agonizing attempts
Sympathetic suicide
Extra Effort

The Love of Evil

How does one love Evil?
Not how does one perform evil
but actually fall with passion?

I asked that as a youth
about Hitler and Eva Braun
Was it his powerful fashion?

I didn't know why then;
I am even more confused now
since I am the one involved.

He seemed at first glance, great.
Our views seemed to coincide
but over time they devolved.

What seemed great turned wicked.
Or was it sinister always
and he just hid it quite well?

Whichever, I am scared.
I want to walk away from him
but will we end in his Hell?

Trust

Trust is a fragile bird,
can be broken, like a wing;
easily, and can be deadly
to a love with just one word.

One action or statement
can be it all takes; a fling?
It has taken flight for good
unless love is undeterred.

Best advice: don't break trust
if you can stop the whole thing.
That avoids a world of hurt
for everyone in your world..

Sinking

Slipping,

Sliding away

Sinking into silence

Infinitely, Forever;

Quietly and alone.

Overwhelming sadness.

Stillness...

©2012 C. Boeneman

Lies (Haiku)

Lies consume the soul

Like moths making holes in wool;

Eat moral fiber.

The Final Stalker

Death is my stalker,

sitting outside my window,waiting;

coming to claim what is his;

commencing a final countdown

to my reality,

forever 

Paranoia

I wonder about paranoia sometimes;
that it's not paranoia if someone
is really out to get you;
if the suspicion is true.

It can be quite difficult to tell these days;
technology being so efficient,
people can spy upon you
and there may well be no clue.

You may be crazy, then again maybe not.
Or maybe both are at the same time true.
Paranoia could be there
as well as a real snare.

The solution to this issue is like this:
You should take the problem seriously
and act so as to stay sound;
better that then suffer wounds.

©2012 C. Boeneman

Volaric Limerick (republished)

There once was a Tea Bagger named Volaric

whose positions seemed quite barbaric

his congressional run

was really no fun

And his politics seemed quite generic.

© Cherie R. Boeneman 2012

*If you use this limerick please give me credit

Fire and Water

Fire and water don't blend
except when in my nightmare,
where fires ravage forests
while lake waters ascend.

Outside homes, fires are fought; 
water and extinguishers,
flames lapping like the water
in cottages nearby caught.

How these things coincide
I have not one conscious clue.
Total opposites they seem
yet together they abide.

Nightmares are such strange creatures;
they turn in weird directions
What meanings they have for us
Lie in these very features...

©2012  C. Boeneman

Every Breath

They told me I'd never again see you,
be near you or to touch you.
I cannot possibly live like that.
It is too much to comprehend.
I am overwhelmed with sadness, 
with grief beyond measure that
steals my breath and tears my heart.
I don't want to breathe again or
my heart to take it's next beat. 
I would rather have it all stop 
than to never see you or be near.
You are everything to me and
you do not even know that
my every breath is for you.
I would give my life for yours
without a second thought.
And I would rather die 
here and now, on the spot
than to never even say "good-bye".


©2012 C. Boeneman

* I needed to write this. It is, at last, the heart of my emotion and truth.

Heroes Are Rare.

I don't have heroes anymore
They are only people
and they eventually disappoint
if you set them to the fore.

Authentic heroes are quite rare
they are almost extinct.
To do something wholly selfless and brave
takes courage and love to spare.

It takes both qualities, not one.
One of them is fine, good
but doesn't make or equal a hero
just that something good is done.

To be a hero takes heart
and maybe some art too;
it's said, "courage is fear that said its prayers"
faith is what love imparts.


Love alone might make a saint,
courage marks a soldier.
But both together is very distinct;
it takes a fine brush to paint.

I'll Take It

Everything's fine,
everything's cool;
nothing to worry me,
the sun's started to shine.

The clouds are parting,
the rain is stopping.
A rainbow's appearing,
the colors are starting.

Where's the pot of gold,
the end of this bow?
I have no idea
but the fantasy holds.

Universe seems mild,
the stars seem aligned;
cosmos is auspicious,
heavens seem to have smiled. 

I'll take this time now
with deep gratitude,
knowing all things can change
any way, any how.

Echoes of Love

Love songs echoing, 
bouncing around off
my empty soul,
hitting my heart
with arrows of darkness.
Silence is the answer
to the song's questions;
heaviness of heart
and painful self-pity,
knowing the question
will never be answered.
The echoes ever reverberating
with nowhere to stop.
The darkness is vacuum
the pain is forever.
My love can never be answered.


©2012 C. Boeneman

Free Soul (Haiku)

Soul flying freely,
Unattached from all burdens,
Earthly cares behind.

Soon

It's coming up soon
my turn to leave.
It'll be opportune
though  you may grieve.

I cannot stay here,
I must go now;
it's time to disappear,
to die, I  vow.

The pain is too great,
with no reprieve
and is a constant state;
don't preconceive.

Oppressive,
it is extreme;
seems to be progressive,
I want to scream.

Let me go now,
don't hold me here
anyway you know how;
my death is near.

Ode to Death

There is much to be said for the grim.
The blackness that calls funeral hymns.
The ravens gather as if to celebrate
another soul left to seek the one Gate.
There is freedom in the leaving;
There is infinite tapestry weaving.
The seal of the final, wax from the ring.
Chorus from the netherworld sings.

The tunnel awaits, so does the light,
but what lies beyond is an unknown sight.
Seek it or fear it,  THAT is the question.
To be or not to be is the same equation.
Many are drawn to the power of light
energy that draws souls to the bright.
But some are afraid of the power therein
and shun the light due to original sin.

Darkness can be comforting to these;
the quiet and coldness offer peace.
Some seek it from the very start
knowing they don't deserve to take part.
So they seek the dusty, dank grave
knowing that their soul can't be saved.
It's  a good thing they seek then,
eternal quiet for those women and men.

Turning It In

I hereby turn in my soul.
I think I am done with it.
You can have it back.
Anyway, it doesn't fit.

It always was way too large
for a person small minded;
couldn't stretch that far,
The brightness of it blinded.

The body sought rejection
from the very beginning.
They should have melded
but there was no imprinting.

At last, I could take no more,
the pain was way too much
I have to leave now
And abandon it as such.

Thanks for the loan, I never
intended it this way.
I tried hard, you know,
I just cannot stay.

Divine Punishment

"You are a punishment from God,"
they say with such certainty.
I know they believe it;
it's hard not to feel odd.

Yes, I'm unique and different
maybe with some social quirks.
But am I a sanction
from the Divine Referent?

It sure feels that way many times,
like I'm  totally worthless,
that I have no place here,
my being a cosmic crime,

I do not want to live this way,
I do not want to exist.
I want to escape life
and finally go away.

©2012 C. Boeneman

Empty

I think I've written all there is to write;
there's nothing left inside me.
I am now as empty as can be,
there is nothing left to come to light.

Emptiness is the symptom of what's wrong
All the meaning departed.
The deadly rot inside has started
and nowhere do I think I belong.

There seems to be nothing left to be said
because I feel so little.
My emotional life seems brittle.
The truth is that I may as well be dead.

I'm wondering if this also shall pass
and all the inspiration come back
or if it if gone and has gone black.
I hope it is the former not the last.

©2012  C. Boeneman

Changes (Haiku)

Leaves turning color;
Changes in life and season,
Inevitable.

Summer into Fall,
Fall leaves into Winter snow
Life into a death.

©2012 C. Boeneman

Home of The Free?

America, Home of the Free...
or not so much these days;
more like home of Gestapo,
Patriot Act and N.D.A.A.

Free when the authorities want
and no more than they say.
We can be picked up, detained
at any time or on any day.

So says the law as written
by the elected ones
who care more for their power
than U.S. people in the long run.

But we have options; fight back;
rise up and we protest.
We can't let them take away
what the Founders left as our bequest.

©2012 C. Boeneman

Pain (Haiku)

Aching reminder,

Pain speaks to being alive

among animals.

The Bully World

Here I am, alone in my room
in my self-made jail.
I can't stand the world
and everything it entails.

It is mean and malevolent;
no tolerance
for any unique,
with a different march and dance.

They bully and beat us to death,
make fun of us too,
driving us crazy
depressed and so blue.

Suicide is much on our minds;
no other way out
of the constant pain,
beyond any doubt.

All we want is acceptance
for who, what we are.
We are human too,
we love and we care.

Yes, we can be different
but that is not vile.
We have strong talents
but a unique style.

Take a little time
and get to know me.
You might just find
you like what you see.
.

Puppy Dog Eyes

Forgive me for the puppy dog eyes
with which I always followed you.
I never realized I was doing that
until I was warned not to pursue.

I know I thought that you hung the moon;
my mistake, one now I see through.
I know it was rude of me to say the least;
that's not how I wanted it construed.

Did I have a slight crush on you? Yes.
Will it ever go away? Yea.
It may take a while as most emotions do
but I'm  pretty sure it will give way.

Please be patient with me a short while.
Don't ban me to the nether lands.
I will likely return to a normal state;
 maybe some day we can shake hands.

©2012 C. Boeneman

Lemons to Lemonade

Turning lemons into lemonade
is my newest point of view.  
I need to see  the positive    
instead of me getting blue.

There are two sides to every coin:
Obverse and reverse; heads,tails.
Positive, negative choices;
choose to win or choose to fail.

There's crisis or opportunity
in everything you meet.
How you see what is happening
determines win or defeat.

I choose to see opportunity
in what looks like a big snag.
It is far less stressful that way;
success could be in the bag.

©2012 C.Boeneman

Liar! Liar!

Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!
Is the cry again this season.
Politicians prevaricate
more easily than they reason.

Every one of them stretch truth
to be quite generous about it.
Politicians lie as freely
as cells phones appear to transmit.

When they tell the truth, by strange chance,
We all do a fact check on them
to verify this rarity;
a truthful political gem.

It is sad but also quite true:
we expect lies from our leaders.
Unfabricated truth from them
can unsettle many readers.

The truth should or ought be the norm. 
We need to expect it more often;
we have to call it forth from them.
The facts don't need to be softened.

©2012 C. Boeneman

The Fifth Season

Spring has sprung, 

Fall has fell,

Election season's here...

What the Hell?

©2012 C. Boeneman

Who Is the Challenged: Me or You

Maybe the worst is over  
I certainly hope that's true;  
never wished to fall apart  
or to cause trouble for you. 

Maybe now life can go on
for me as well as for you.
I hope you can forgive me,
maybe even start anew.

I will not push for that though.
it's got to be up to you.
I know I've been acting odd
I hope now that is all through.

There's a special wish I have
that is for your staff and you;
that you can learn to accept
the challenged, it's overdue.

We are all unique, you know,
different talents, strong suits.
we all have our weaknesses;
All we can do is improve.

The autistic are people 
and have human feelings too.
We may not express them well
but we can fall in love true.

Give us opportunities
and you just might look anew
at who the disabled are  
and also at what we can do.

©2012 Cherie R. Boeneman